Philophobia

I miss you. 

I'm not good at handling break ups at all. You should know that from my previous break up. But this is worse. We've created so much memories together. It's gonna take a long time for me to recover. It's so hard to sleep at night and wake up in the morning. When I open my eyes, I try so hard to convince myself you're not there anymore and I should carry on my day happily. But I can't. 

It still feels like a dream.

One day you love me, the next day you're gone. I'm sure you know how abrupt you were.

Did I do something wrong?

Sigh. I miss you J, I really do.

I'd do anything for you to speak to me again.

Time and time again

We got our JAE results today and fuck my life. Really. I got into my 9th choice with is TP. _|_

Appealed to TPJC and SRJC. Saw some familiar faces at srjc too, guess I'm not the only one unhappy with where I was posted to. All I wanted was to get into a JC, any of my fucking 8 choices, to start school tomorrow and to start afresh. Apparently that's not possible. I can't follow my sis footsteps. If all my appeals fail, I'd have to work extra hard to get to a Uni. Dammit, I have nothing against polys but I dont wna go there. My dream has always been to get into a JC. I want to start school tmrw like all the JC kids. I want to start studying, to make new friends. Why you people like to mess with my life. I dont want another 3 months of holidays. I dont want it. I worked my ass of for O's, I wasn't that satisfied with my results but what the heck it can get me into a JC, not a fantistic one but I was fine with that. 

OH GOD. LET MY APPEAL BE SUCCESSFUL PLEASE. 

So, you broke up with me because our personalities clashed and we arent compatible? All couples have to be exactly alike to be able to be together? Arent we suppose to adapt to each other's differences? Fine, I respect your decison. But the least you could do was to give it to me gently. Tell me why, explain to me. I'm not that unreasonable. If you had explained it, it would've been better.To be honest, I knew it was coming. When you said you wanted to call? My heart was beating so fast, I told myself maybe this time I'm guessing wrongly. After all, you've always loved me like nobody has. But sadly, my guess was right. Where did I go wrong this time? I handled this relationship so differently as compared to the others. I used to mean the world to you, why'd you change all of a sudden? And just because we broke up, it means we cant talk or be friends anymore? 

I thought... I always think people are different but they never prove me wrong.

I thought you'd treasure your first relationship. You may not have been my first but you definitely mean alot to me. I'm still trying to accept the fact that this is happening. Yknow how you tell me not to be negative? Honestly, Im trying. But how can I not be. When such an impt person in my life decided to leave me with no warning at all. I dont know if it's easy for you, but it's definitely not easy for me.

I wish you the best in life. I won't regret being your girlfriend though you've hurt me. Neither do I hate you. I just wished things had turned out differently. Take care of meow, change it's batteries when the head doesnt move anymore. And I really hope you won't forget me.

Love, your ex girlfriend.

Homesick

I just got home after 8 days of being in Malacca.

There's nothing like home.

Here are some pictures of my malacca trip, lazy to type hehe.

I had a great time at our family dinner. I think it was the most fun cny dinner.

Yeap, so that's it. Im feeling like idk how to explain my emotion but happy is definitely not it.

I hate it when I feel like this for no reason. Ugh.

Anw, my cny was great hope your's was too.

Gong Xi Fa Cai

Updates from Instagram:

Wore the same shirt as baby bro on New year's eve. Yeah we're cute like that.

My favourite cousins.

This was from the first day. There are more. >:)

My handsome baby bro in his cny costume.

Delicious 10 course meal mum whipped up for the Chews. YUM.

They were trying to look at trees or smth. Hmm.

We the gamblers. \m/

I'm spending my CNY in Malacca with my dad's side like I always do. I'm gna be staying here till saturday because dinner at restaurant is on friday. Boohoo. I'm gna be missing dad's friend's bbq and my pri school gathering. The good part about celebrating cny here is the never ending red packets. Okay I exaggerate, but I collect alot each year. hehe.

Hmm so here's a list of what I've been doing in Malacca.

• Gambling and so far losing like about alot. )':
• Bonding with my cousins. (Sis went back to spore so they're all that I have left)
• EAT
• SLEEP

I'm currently taking a break from gambling because I'm losing like nobody's business. It's like everyone has taken from the center pool except me. Good thing is we're gambling in ringgit.

This is really not my gambling year.

Alrighty then, 3.5 more days in this country!

Happy Birthday Love

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO MY DARLING BOYFRIEND.

Today is the birthday of one of the most important person in my life.
I shall not say much here, most of what I wanna say is in the card and text! ^^
I really hope you enjoyed yourself today!

We'll go out again when I get back okay!

Once again, Happy Birthday. :D I honestly cant imagine life without you. May this just be this first Birthday out of the many I'm gna be celebrating with you.

                                                                                                       Lots of love, your girlfriend. (:

Going to Malacca tonight. Yes, again. Ah, what can I do. Its a tradition to celebrate CNY with the Chews. I'll be back in a week.

HAPPY CNY Y'ALL. 

There'll be no sunlight if I lose you

Wasted an hour of my time trying to be a good senior and to get into ESSS. Stupid school rules. ._.

We gave up in the end, you dont want us in? We wont go in.

Walked around tmall & T1 with Bfffffff & Wesley before I left and spent the rest of my day with my favourite boyyyyyyy. Hehehe I'll go practice my Bishi Bashi and win you the next time! And my msn games. :/ 

For now, I've got a condo to burn down. -lights matchstick- 

>:D

hahahahahhahhhahahahahaha.

DARLINGBOY'SBIRTHDAYINADAY.

Im actually more excited than he is, I always am more excited than the birthday celebrant hahaha. You may ask bffffff, she'll agree.

Sickly me

I really like this picture. ^^

Waddup? I've been sick, actually I still am but feeling much better after the jab I got to stop my diarrhoea and vomitting and the super long nap I took. I practically slept the entire day. I should be fully recovered by tomorrow, well I have to. I have plans this week and am heading to Malacca early in the morning on Saturday. 

Anw, just a short update for now. I had dinner at Long beach with Dad's friends and their kids yesterday. Ah, I really like those people. I always feel so relaxed and carefree when I'm with em.

Aite, gna eat my porridge now. Ugh. Sick people's food.

No one like me

This is so true.

Fingers crossed

DONE WITH MJ AUDITIONS.

I can finally just sit back, relax and wait for the results.

Audition was fine, the teachers asked quite a lot in the interview though, but I felt it went pretty well!

I said everything I practiced and yeah hope they accept me! Even if they don't, Im sure either TPJC or SRJC will accept me and though MJ > anything else, I honestly wouldn't mind landing up in either of the other JCs I mentioned above.

LOL but my preference would be in this order MJC>TPJC>SRJC.

Whatever JC I get in, my goal the first year would be not to get retained. 

FOR NOW...

WE STILL HAVE MORE HOLIDAYS.

BETTER ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS.

Faking smiles

I have made up my mind and I'm gna try CCA appealing into MJC. The chances of me getting in is really low because their choir standard is really high but no harm trying eh? Gna have to prepare myself for the audition and interview which is on Thursay. I actually dont know how this appealing thing works so Im just gna submit my Jae application tmrw and see what happens next. If MJC doesnt want me, I really hope TPJC takes me.

Anyway,

Im going JC open houses with Jose tomorrow. We scored around the same so maybe, hopefully we'll end up in the same school?

Well, all I know now is I'm gna treasure him especially much this few weeks because when school starts... We wont be able to have as much time with each other.

Gah. I really wish we can just stay in secondary school. Where I can see my friends everyday and sit beside my boyf every geography lesson. Did I mention we got to know each other in Geography lesson? Yeapyeap those were the times. And I really hope nothing will change once we start our new lifes.

You wna know something? 

Jose's one person I never wanna lose.

Talking about that special boy, his birthday is in 10 days! :D

Life after this

I just got back from collecting my O level results not too long ago and well if I had aced my Combined Humans and Geog like I always did, I would've done better. But what the heck, I'm eligible for a JC. I plan to get in one, work hard, not retain and end up in an University.

I wanted to do better but boo no point crying over spilt milk. 

I got an L1R5 of 16 and L1R4 of 13.

My parents said that they're proud of me and Im gna try make them more proud in the future.

Im most probably gna try to get into TPJC or SRJC. I'll see how things go.

Anyway,

This is just the beginning of another chapter of my life.

(:

One more thing, Im shocked I aced my English. No credits given to Tahiya, she didnt help at all with her boring lessons.

It's tomorrow

See the cool people up there? Yeah, travelled around Spore with em yesterday.

We went to 4 polys ( TP>NP>NYP>SP) but two out of the four polys ran out of goodie bags. Yes it was disappointing. We werent really interested in the booths and stuff just the goodie bags hahahhaha. We cheapskate like that. When we went to SP and NYP and we found out that they ran outta goodie bags we just used the toilets and left. LOL.

Headed to Orchard because the boys wanted to have popeyes. ESP GLEN, he kept going POPEYESSS POPEYESSS. Thanks to the coupons NYP gave us. Hahaha. Walked around, headed to plaza sing then cabbed to Chinatown to meet my fam.

I waited for them for so long. Ugh, according to sis dad went the wrong way cos he was on the phone throughout the whole journey. So they came, we nomed and walked around Chinatown like we do every year. Thank god we didnt walk that much, my feet were killing me from the whole day of walking.

I slept the after I finished bathing and unpacking my stuff. I didnt even webcam with Jose last night, that shows how tired I was.

On a side note, our results will be out tmrw. And though I really want to take a nap in this fine weather, I will resist the temptation to do so. If I sleep now, I wont be able to sleep at night and I'll spend the whole night worrying about my results. Neh, dont want that to happen.

Anyway, good luck for your results tmrw guys! 

What I'd do to have you here

I was supposed to go poly visiting with Nick and Eugene today but we cancelled the plans. Then, Mum said we were gna go out but nuuuu she lied. Mama, you cheated my feelings. Hahahaha.

So, today I just stayed at home and downloaded more songs. Thanks to bffffff, I finally know how to work Itunes and finally have songs in my phone. OUHYEAH. 

I cant wait for tmrw, gna visit polys with Boyf, Bestf and Glenneh.

LOL I just want the free stuff. 

LOL

My voice so weird I knw. hahahahah.
I cant stop laughing whenever I watch this video. hahahahaha.
K so, bffffff at my cribz yo. I needa kick her out in the morning though, but who cares because we're not gna sleep. Okay, we will just not now. For now, WE ARE HUNGRY. But we're gna resist! Eating at almost 4 in the morning is so unhealthy.
Yeapyeap.

Love you likea love song

This is lunch my dearest boyfriend cook for me. Aww, I love him so much.

-Inserts hearts and kisses-

Spent more than half my day at his house and gna meet bffffff later on at around 7.

Blogging with his laptop while waiting for him to bathe. Hehe, thankfully he's a fast showerer so I dont have to wait that long. 

Aite, blog again later my precious boy coming out of his shower soon. ^^

Expectations & Disappointments

We'll be getting our O lvl results next Monday.

Im afraid, very afraid. My L1R5 for Prelims was 18 and L1R4 was 12. I worked even harder for O's, I think I did the best that I could've done but I really want to make my parents proud of my academic achievements. They've never pressured me and I really wna hear they're happy voices when I tell them my results. Not only them, my whole family in Malacca too. I know they dont think I'm study material and I really hope to prove all of them wrong.

Then there's my dad's friends and their kids. If I dont beat them and dont give my parents something to be proud of ... I dont knw where to hide my face alr. Dad's friend's always think I'll definitely get into a JC. Like today they told my dad not to worry and that Im sure to get into a JC. Sigh. I really dont wanna disappoint anyone so please dont expect too much okay?

Then there's myself. I'll be so disappointed with myself if I dont do well. ): The subjects im most worried about would be English and POA. I dont wanna see any Cs on my result slip ): Or anything lower than that. All I can do now is hope for the best. Whats done is done.

I hope I'll walk out of the school hall on Monday, smiling.

I dont wanna relive the day i took my Chinese results.

Ah, life is so stressful.

MEOW

Every cat I see reminds me of you.

2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR & HAPPY 45TH BIRTHDAY MUM.

J

New year's day was different this year. Grandma was hospitalized so we headed down to Malacca on the 29th and spent most of our trip in the hospital. After all, the purpose of the trip was to visit her. Thankfully she's feeling much better, I dont wanna lose another grandma.

Oh yeah, Dad got a tattoo on his right arm. He says he wants to do something crazy before the world ends. My uncle just calls it the mid life crisis. hahahahaha. Whatever makes you happy, dad.

We counted down in the hospital ward with the soccer channel because we couldnt find any channels that were counting down. We also sang mum the hospital+night version of the happy birthday song. We were like HAAAAAA and my uncle went SSSHHHH so we lowered our volume. hahaha.

We reached aunt's house really late, quickly took my shower and then grabbed my phone to wish Jose happy new year. 

Brand new year, same old me.

J